No Saul: It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times
Posted in Site News, Saul by Alex on June 12th, 2007, 1:16 pm
Rumors of Saul’s potential return to the website have been flying all over the blogosphere, so Wish We Weren’t Friends has decided to make an official announcement regarding this global issue.
After months of bitter, stubborn stewing as a response to perceived slights, miffs, and UNvitations, members of this website have reached out to Saul in hopes of bringing him back fulltime. After all, where would we be without his epic self-deprecations, adventurous facial hair patterns, raging homoeroticism, and breathtaking gossip columns? Don’t forget his insightful prognostications of each of our values as human beings.
At first, locating Saul was the most difficult task. Reports came in that he was seen around the Upper Valley with “an unidentified older man”, and Pappas suggested that he had actually turned gay. Other sources indicated that he had begun to dress like an adult, donning Italian sport coats, black tee shirts and tight, dark dungarees.
This information fit nicely with his decision to cut off all communication with me, his 34 year-old lesbian partner. As a result he was comfortably off the grid, free to blitz his new Dartmouth friends, attend cocktail parties filled with academics and cheese trays, all the while attempting to forget that he had fully exposed himself to a stranger only a few short months ago.
Oh how Wish We Weren’t Friends has suffered: terrible enthusiasm, unreliable posting, horrible writing. Not a Photoshopped picture to be found!
Fortunately for you, dear reader, Saul will make his triumphant return. Heavy coddling has successfully convinced our poet laureate to once again participate. Gone are the times of famine and stench. It is a brand new day and a brand new era for this, the best website on the planet.
Welcome back to Wish We Weren’t Friends.
June 12th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Although Pappas has questioned my sexuality, I feel it necessary to point out that I’m not the one living in marital bliss with a husky, goateed man who I spend 98.2% of my waking hours with (although I did last year).
June 12th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Hey, I photoshopped that business card. I removed the phone number so none of you jackasses could reach the 40 year old trainer. By the way did anyone notice on facebook that Kate Mason is engaged. I’m sure we are all invited to the wedding. I wonder if she has my address.
June 12th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Mairk!
I’m sorry and I mean no disrespect for not mentioning your photoshopping. Please circulate that number. I heard about the engagement.
I’m not going to touch it with a ten foot poll.
June 13th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
We should all pitch in and buy Kate and her fiance a copy of Wedding Crashers as an engagement gift.
June 13th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
how did you fuckers find out about the wedding before me. Put Hill and I down for prime rib. It better be an open bar
June 13th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I don’t know Mike that may be a little to rich for my blood.
June 13th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
Somehow I get the feeling, if Kate invites any of us, it won’t be an open bar. This entire website is a testament as to why not to give us alcohol (let alone free alcohol). I just hope we can sit at our own table, not talk to girls, get hammered, and talk about how much cooler we are than everyone else.
June 14th, 2007 at 1:05 am
Ah Chainsaw, I don’t know when the last time was that you spoke to or saw Kate but I have a feeling that the table we will be sitting at on that night will be at Murphy’s and no where near any wedding reception.
June 14th, 2007 at 10:03 am
I’m with Moustache Mairk on this one. The only possible chance we have of profiting off Kate’s wedding is her paying us to stay well away from it.
Murphy’s, however, is out. I only drink at Hairdbodies.
June 14th, 2007 at 10:25 am
i’d just like to drive the nail in this coffin, as i think i’m probably the only person here besides courtney who has spent any amount of time with the mason family. there is absolutely no fucking chance that any of us will even see a wedding invitation hung up on someone else’s fridge.
but brandon might sneak beers out the back for us.
June 14th, 2007 at 11:06 am
How about this? How about we ban this topic from our website? How does that sound?
June 14th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Aldo, I apologize for straying off the topic of Saul’s downward spiral into homosexuality. It is much more interesting, and better documented.
June 14th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Alex quit taking trips to Negative Town. We are just excited about the wedding plans. Saul good to see you back in action.
June 14th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
If that’s what you got from the post, then you missed its point entirely. In my opinion, anyway.
June 14th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
I just look at the pictures I don’t really read the article
June 14th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
I should clarify my comment was targeted at comment #12, not #13.
June 14th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Alex, I have to say at least there is activity. After all, I believe I am the first one to have their prom date in such a position.
June 15th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Speak for youeselves…Im the Maid of Honor.
June 15th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Hill, are you and Courtney going to smoke butts inside the church?
June 18th, 2007 at 6:59 am
No Doubt. The Masons (and God) love nicotine. If anyone gets a hold of her, please tell her to steer away from baby blue for the bridesmaids dresses…Its just not my color.
June 18th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
What’s Brandon going to do now the love of his life is engaged?
June 19th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
OH WOW.. this is great news
June 21st, 2007 at 12:02 pm
News Flash!
Murphy’s is going to be doing the catering…SO, if you want to go to the reception, and don’t want to get a present, let Court know and she can sign you up to “work” the wedding.
June 22nd, 2007 at 11:39 am
Hill, what a great idea. I’m in!
June 23rd, 2007 at 8:30 am
Smalls I am going to need to see a resume and do a background check. I don’t know if you know this but catering is kind of a big deal. For now you should refresh on your skills maybe grab Draper or Mairk to help with the training. They can send me progress reports. P.S. Draper is going to ask if he can cater politely tell him No.
June 23rd, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Court — I have 10 years catering experience and am more than happy to put it to use for the wedding. My references are Bonnie @ the DWR (please don’t actually call her as she hates me). Background checks are fine as long as they only cover from 2006 - thru present. Look forward to working with the Murphy’s team!
June 24th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
If anyone should be at this ceremony it should be me. After all, I was probably the first and last person she had a solid sexual encounter with before this dude. I see no reason why I shouldnt be invited to rehash these incidents in detail (and Brandon’s reactions) in a toast at the reception. I think it would go over quite well.
June 24th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
It’s open bar right? Cause if it isn’t you can just RSVP my refusal to attend right now.
June 27th, 2007 at 12:37 am
This is my first time on the site and here’s my two cents: Kate’s really happy and she’s marrying a nice guy. You should be happy for her, and leave it at that.
June 27th, 2007 at 9:01 am
Keep your change SBS.
June 27th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Doghouse
June 27th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Anyway, the whole point of this site is that we shouldn’t be — and aren’t — happy for anyone, unless something bad happens to them, in which case it’s not actual pleasure we feel but rather schadenfreude.
On another note, why do we have 31 posts — a site record — concerning a wedding we’re not even invited to? Let’s move on, people…