10 Days Away!
Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
The Good Old Days
There is much to be thankful for: our website is officially over a year old, Moustache March is fast approaching, and Noah hasn’t pooped in anything besides a toilet in over 6 weeks. Yes, we’ve survived many losses: our most talented writer has gone AWOL behind the flimsy veil of professorial success, which we all know better as alcoholic shame, social anxiety disorder, and his parents’ CO-OP charge account. Our financier has moved to an Argentinian internet cafe to chase younger, browner men while constantly Skyping Barcelona to keep up international appearances. Our webmaster unglued his hand from his dick and got a job, ruining hopes of the innovations that would launch this site into the same stratosphere as SheMuscle and Nhiaa.org. In fact, our best post of the last six months was written by a kid who used to start drinking at 10:30 am in high school, not exactly what one would call a literary scholar.
Luckily, the rampant homophobia and shameless reminiscence in the comments section have kept Wish We Weren’t Friends happily afloat. From obscure South African racism references to a manual on short-circuiting a woman’s "doorbell," we’ve kept warm these winter months with thoughts of one another’s shortcomings, which are many. Even Samson has managed to make time in between daily "meetings" in Keene and Plymouth to plug his laptop into the payphone at Bow Mobil and chime in on the fun.
More to the point, we are quickly approaching our official month long holiday period. I’d like to alert the group to some competition we have on another site. It seems that a seemingly harmless comment from Nate "Tank" Heath several months ago that applauded our moustaches was actually of a condescending tone. It seems this "Tank" character (gay nickname, you fucking douche) has actually managed to have the official Moustache March website. A few weeks ago I received an email in my inbox encouraging me to check out the new "image gallery" and "pick a t-shirt design" as well as enjoy "Facial February." Following the links I arrived here:
Picture on the right look familiar to you? Bad graphic design look familiar to you? Stupid website idea look familiar to you? Clearly-in-the-closet-self-loathing-gay-membership look familiar to you? I say we declare a full on Internet Jihad against these "maggot lipsters" and somehow break their website.
My computer’s about to run out of batteries. Here’s a link to Lohan’s boobs if you haven’t seen them.
