BREAKING NEWS: Saul’s Long Lost Brother Emerges
Posted in Pictures, Saul, Mark, Moustache March, Page 1 Gossip by Saul on March 9th, 2008, 1:42 pm
Well, we are happy to say that our classy little number of a website can now add “Mysterious Twins” to its list of gossip topics – a list formerly limited to such perennial favorites as “Flacidity In All Its Forms,” “Fatness: The New Thin,” “Girls – What’s That Word Again?” and “How To (Not Get Not) Sick From Whiskey.: Yup – you read correctly. The always-ready cameras of our newly-appointed Creative Director, Moustache Mairk, caught Saul’s lackluster twin brother, Pierre, as he ventured onto Hanover turf for the first time since ever.
A little background on this disburbing revelation: As most of you probably don’t remember, Saul sidled into the hallways of Hanover High School back in 1997, fresh from serving a fifteen-to-life stint in ‘Scoma. Little did anyone know that Saul – eager to take advantage of the enhanced shoplifting that HHS’s proximity to the Co-Op provided – made his move with such haste that he left behind his maladjusted twin, Pierre, whom he cautioned never to venture beyond Route 4 for fear of discovery and subsequent disgrace. Fast-forward more years than we can count, and we have Saul – an apparently upstanding and successful member of the Dartmouth community. Little did he know, as he prepared to leave for his on-campus office last Friday, that much more than his day would be interrupted when a vengeful Pierre roared back into his life on a rusting Kawasaki motorcycle that was older than both of them combined.
As can be seen, the two environments have had dramatically different effects on the brothers’ lives. We hope you enjoy browsing through the results – whether you prefer your vests made of cheap black leather or fine Merino wool, there should be something for everyone.
March 9th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Saul Lelchuk; feared english teaching assistant by day, gay leather clad biker by night.
March 9th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
So is pierre the alcoholic or saul?
March 10th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Saul, you are probably the only person I know who has a job where having a moustache is a sign of prestige and intelligence. You also are probably the only person I know who has a wardrobe consisting of both tight leather chippendale’s attire and an upscale academia suit. I’m guessing you got the former from Tim though, so it doesn’t really count.
March 10th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Chainsaw,
Clearly you forgot that I direct gay porn in Brooklyn to pay the Bank of Gabe my rent.
Good to see you back on the site. I was afraid you’d sworn it off after your message board idea went the way of Max’s dignity.
Speaking of gay porn, Boston, way to SUCK DICK at Moustache March. Real good show. Did you see Samson? That’s what you call dedication. Sutton, don’t tell me you couldn’t get the TRASHIEST chicks in your history with a nice dirt lip keeping you warm.
Draper, you were born to wear a stache and watch high school hockey, what’s the deal?
Noah, I know you’ll come up with something, don’t make it too late.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
My 13 (I counted) upper lip hairs and I have decided that they are not ready to be exposed to light yet. I know this is not a worthy excuse, however, its a lot better than the friends that are capable, yet still chose not to participate. Hopefully in the next 11 months puberty will come knocking on my door. I do agree that Samson is the most dedicated though.
March 11th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
The excuse of I cant grow a moustache is bullshit. Everyone knows only Indians (the american kind) and Chinamen are incapable of growing moustaches. Give it more than a week before you decide you belong in either of those categories. Also, here is a quick list of people who were “brave enough” to sport moustaches at work; NY Times journalist and Middle East correspondent Tom Friedman, NHL referee Bill McCreary, Daimler Chrysler CEO Dieter Zetsche and Apple’s Steve Jobs respectively and more than a third of Bush’s 2008 male cabinet members. Saying my job wont let me grow one is a copout, and you are a pussy if you use that as an excuse.
March 11th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Noah spent at least two hours “doing research” and “googling” for that shitty post. What a loser
March 12th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Is that Noah’s garage in the background of Saul’s (excuse me, Pierre’s) photo? Man, I remember sneaking out of that house/garage many a time.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:04 am
Add Stan the Man, Dick the Prick and D-Day Morin to that list, Noah. And it goes on…
In fact, my first public appearance with the 2008 edition of Alex’s reddish Pervert Tag was a very formal brunch at a midtown hotel full of Israelis where I had to explain myself numerous times - I was told I looked like “my cousin Tony” a “Mexican pornstar” “Borat” and of course, the real treat, “Tom Selleck.”
In the same way Germans can no longer restrict Jews from coming to work, corporations can not tell you to NOT have a Moustache.
So yes Noah, only “Being a Pussy” is a good excuse. That being said, where the fuck is your stache, you fucking Pussy. You work with firemen, for god’s sake.
March 12th, 2008 at 9:49 am
STEVE JOBS:
http://images.forbes.com/images/2001/12/13/steve_jobs.gif
Wow! What a great moustache! Great research Rice-A-Roni, I mean, Noah!
March 12th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Getting involved in a Gabe Noah fight is like picking a side in Darfur - it’s dangerous, and they’re all African, so who cares.
However, I do wonder how Gabe has such an intimate knowledge of Noah’s penis size…and where his obsession on this issue germinates from.
Do any of us think that GABE has a big penis? I’m certain I don’t. And how many times did Noah make Gabe blow him for Gabe to be so certain and angry about Noah’s penis at the same time.
Just food for thought. Penis size, like scalp hair, is just something we’re born with after all. And I’m sure Noah and Gabe would prefer the conversation stay far away from that topic.
March 12th, 2008 at 10:33 am
I almost crapped myself reading that last comment. That’s the greatest analysis of the Darfur “crisis” that I’ve ever read. I hope somewhere in slopetown S.K. is reading that while shaking his head and thinking that he is better than us….and getting a cocoa-buttered hand-job from a six-year old boy.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Noah, I’m on your side again. I could make fun of Alex for not coming close to banging a girl since I’ve lived with him (October) and probably far before that, but that would just be mean. Seems like lack of forehead hair does not correlate to lack of sex.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
It was November, thank you very much, and I would say that in this forum, having sex in 2007 is comparable to Sting or something.
March 12th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Gabe doesn’t have a penis Alex.
March 12th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I took a picture for you guys: uu============================================================>
Little balls.
Samson: Finger.
March 12th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
P.S. Venti, our tracker shows that you logged in from Park City at 4:42 this afternoon. How about a hello?
March 12th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Firstly Alex, my ‘tache is well on its way but both Draper and I agree it needs more time for its full luster to shine through as he is now living vicariously through mine.
As for you Gaybe, this link should clear up any doubt as to the legitimacy of Steve Jobs and his moustache past. http://images.businessweek.com/mz/04/44/0444_20innova.jpg
Notice how much fuller, darker and “realer” it is than yours.
Bye the way Alex, I would kill to get those kinds of comments about my moustache. How do you get a Tom Selleck comparison? The only thing that I encounter is a sometimes confused, often alarmed look from parents when they see who is going to be riding in the back of the ambulance with their kid. Make your jokes, but that is what goes through my mind everytime I get into that situation and it makes for an awkward month.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Someone told me I look like “their uncle” today
July 19th, 2008 at 7:05 am
,
July 24th, 2008 at 8:41 am
hey name; that was a killer comment, keep ‘em comin!. this website sux.