Freeloading Out West

One of Alex’s worst anxieties has always stemmed from the relative proximity of Bend to San Francisco, and this fear was fully realized when Saul, sick and tired of the blatant liberalism of the Bay Area, packed a suitcase full of dirty clothes, sports jackets, and moustache wax and purchased a one-way train ticket north.

After making himself comfortable on Tim’s couch, turning Tim’s study into a walk-in closet, and joining an upscale local gym, the only thing left for Saul to do was inform his new landlord that he would be staying for an undetermined length of time, fully expected board as well as room, and would not be paying so much as a penny in rent while in residence.

Although his primary goal in Bend was to drive his friends’ meat-pie stand into the ground, Saul was also keen on finding work after months and months of endless loafing. However, he was shocked to discover that the media accounts of the recession which he had previously written off as yellow journalism turned out to have some truth to them after all. And in short order, the desperate times drove the hapless hobo into the always-booming migrant labor industry.

You can see him here, making full use of his Master’s Degree as he picks juniper berries at $30 a bucket for the local gin distillery. 

It is hard, thankless work, but fortunately there is plenty of down-time as well, even with the hundreds of hours per week that binge-drinking with Mitch takes up. Naturally enough, Alex and Saul’s preferred leisure activity is to saunter down to the local bathhouse, where they join all the other couples in steamy gratuitous displays of what Max bizarrely termed “Romosexualism.”

But whether picking berries or frolicking in steambaths, the one thing that doesn’t change is the crisp line of waxed hair running across his upper lip. That always remains consistent.*

* This actually did change as well. Saul – allegedly – was found with a razor in Alex and Mitch’s bathroom just before getting in a bitter argument with Enterprise and barreling down Route 101 in a bright-red Cobalt, adorned in a vivid pink tie, to a Motel 6 in Gilroy, California, prior to an interview for a coveted Professorship.