THIS WEEK IN JOBS: A PHOTO ESSAY
Posted in Gabe, This Week in Jobs! by Gabe on May 31st, 2009, 10:45 pm
Hey, Noah, lookie over here! This is MY Emmy I won last month.
Hey, Noah, lookie over here! This is MY Emmy I won last month.
Hey, Noah, lookie over here! This is MY Emmy I won last month.
Tom on MOUSTACHE MADNESS
Sean on MOUSTACHE MADNESS
Mairk on MOUSTACHE MADNESS
Alex on MOUSTACHE MADNESS
Samson on MOUSTACHE MADNESS
Gabe on Sasha Khramkov U.S.S.R Refugee
Tom on Sasha Khramkov U.S.S.R Refugee
Gabe on Earthquakes Couldn’t Stop This ‘Stache
Mitch on Sasha Khramkov U.S.S.R Refugee
Samson on Sasha Khramkov U.S.S.R Refugee
Wall Street Saul's Friend Stock Ticker
(Full Report)
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June 2nd, 2009 at 11:02 am
Gabe, i’ve got an extra ticket to see phish at fenway. i’d be happy to negotiate a price. let’s say, one emmy. deal?
June 2nd, 2009 at 7:01 pm
What does mis pantalones mean?
June 3rd, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Well Gaybe you made it. It was tough competition, but your critically important coffee pouring/PT Cruiser driving skills helped your show beat the shit out of the “2008 Parlympics” and “Ford Ironmen Championship” as well as the sleeper shows “The Greatest Game Played” and “Varsity Rival”. Who knew you could win a sports award without having an iota of athletic ability? I was hoping it was for the deserving categories of either “Outstanding Tease” or “Outstanding Sport Promotional Announcement” but it wasnt. I bet you and Mr’s. Bernbaum and Greenstein (executive producers) really burned the proverbial menorah at both ends that night huh? Did you guys get wasted with Tim McCarver and talk about how awesome emmy’s are? “Charlie Moore Outdoors” and “WB Mason Extra Innings Extra” will have to wait til next year.
P.S. I wonder what the Emmy people will think about you placing their trophy against your vagina? I’ll be sure to ask them when I tell on you.
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:57 pm
Wellie wellie wellie, I was hoping to hear from Rice-A-Roni and here it is. Clever too, and full of research that I must commend you for. However, you forgot to mention that my show won four awards, equal to a little known event, I believe it’s called the OLYMPICS.
I’m sorry that you couldn’t win a trophy as well, although I know you have at least one from the 42nd Annual Pooping on Windshields and Getting Fired and Being an All-Around Giant Loser Awards, so that will have to suffice.
June 4th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
The 42nd Annual Pooping on Windshields and Getting Fired and Being an All-Around Giant Loser Awards sounds like an awesome awards show.
June 4th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Well played, Noah. Menorah comment is memorable to say the least.
June 4th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Also won awards for “best defensive play” in a little league tournament and first place in the 1996 scoma 2 on 2 basketball tournament, there’s some others I cant remember but I know I never had a desire to put any of them in my pants.
Also, my post was edited a bunch of times. Those two producers names were Bernburg and Greenstein, which are just incredibly jewish and make the menorah joke so much better. Lets see if Gaybe changes it again. And are we all aware that Gaybe no longer goes by his full hyphenated name anymore. Is it not “professional” enough Gaybe or did you insult one of your parents so the guys who write the credits can fit your name on one line. How did you decide which one to drop? I would’ve gone with Hirsch though they’re both pretty gay.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
how about you guys try being nice to each other and actually supporting your friends for once.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Noah and I had a very pleasant phone conversation tonight.
June 18th, 2009 at 11:30 am
You know noa, you can bang all the girls in the world but when you suck one cock your a cocksucker, think about it.
June 25th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Michael Jackson is dead and I mourn.
July 8th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Is this a website anymore?
July 8th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
I love how long the incriminating pictures of Gaybe have been on the top of this website.
July 9th, 2009 at 8:07 am
miguel, I don’t know if you still enjoy having the noise brought about your face with extreme prejudice, but if you do I sugest you check out “The call of kutulu” of the Ride the Lightning album, it’s not “Orian” but it’s still pretty raw.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:21 am
SK; I recently heard a funny joke that you might like. A man from the Check republic and a jewish friend of his go to a local zoo to see the bear exhibit. The jew says; “wow! what a huge bear” then his friend from the check republic says; “you jew pussy, in my country we wrestle bears all the time”. With that he jumped into the bear cage and attempted to choke one of the two bears into submission. The bear immediately ripped off his arms then ate him. The jew was horrified. after a few seconds a zoo keeper ran over with a gun and said “which bear ate your friend? was it the male or female?” The jew said “Uhh it was the male…..definitely the male bear” Then the zoo keeper shot the male bear and proceded to cut open his stomach to examen the remains of the eaten man, however the bears stomach was empty. Moral of the story; never trust a jew when he tells you the checks in the male.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Max,
That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read on the entire internet.
July 19th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Well done max
July 21st, 2009 at 10:00 pm
i just don’t know what to say.
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Oh, SK how was the Upper Valley? It was really nice to not see you or meet your girlfriend.
By the way, there has been discussion of a Labor Day Weekend Baseball game and Pairty. Can anyone remember the teams?
WINNERS: Mark, Gabe, Alex…
LOSERS: SK, Dave, Mike, Max (who SK picked when Max had a broken arm)…
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Sk just say that its true. I’m down for the game. Believe it or not Macks was actually better in that game with one arm than in following games completely healthy. I’ll trade him for literally anyone, including girls or little kids. Just the worst.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:09 am
Do you think we could get Sasha Handelmen if offered up Max, SK, and cash?
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Sasha is an umpire. He’d be much better than Rob Jr.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:05 am
i do not remember losing - are you sure about that? i do remember striking out mahler over and over again with 25 mile an hour meatballs.
and sorry mairk, she just didn’t wanna meet you guys - can you blame her?
July 25th, 2009 at 2:27 am
I will be in Mexico D.F. The team will have to try to go on without me, although I’m not sure if it’s possible.
SK, way to bring your GF to the coffee shop across the street from my apartment and not stop by.
July 25th, 2009 at 2:29 am
P.S. 2 years, three months and 29 days since the last Wall Street Saul Stock Report. It’s embarrassing to still have it up there. What would it take to reignite the best part of our site?
July 25th, 2009 at 9:00 am
gabe, your spies have misinformed you - we have not yet been to brooklyn.
i would also like to make it known that i will be witnessing a live performance by Spinal Tap this coming monday.
July 27th, 2009 at 11:46 am
I can confirm that SK’s girlfriend is real, unless he paid a needy Korean girl to hang out with him for a few hours.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
That’s not very hard to do, if you guys are interested I can put you in touch my guy in the city. He’s pretty legit, except for the time he tried to pass off a Mongolian girl as a korean.
July 29th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
SK you cannot hide this chick from us forever. And the longer you wait, the weirder it will be I guarantee it. Especially if she meets us when we’re all loose lipped and shitfaced which we’re sure to be. Gaybe. When is the last time you made it home for a baseball game?… I hate your job.
July 29th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
you can all meet her at max’s wedding (i.e. never).
July 31st, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Somehow I missed this string of comments (probably when the FBI temporarily shut off my internet connection.)
I almost choked on my eskimo pie from laughing so hard. SK, Noah is right, it will be way weirder if you let us gossip about how she doesn’t want to meet us and then finally give us a forced introduction.
Saul, you should do a stock report, I at least know how painfully uncreative you feel, even if everyone else doesn’t.
Mike, the only transaction with Sasha and cash that’s going to happen is us paying him to stay out of Norwich while the game goes on. Plus if he comes, so will Kim and Mike Jackson, and that would be sort of bizarre.
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:12 pm
I will say I met this girl SK called his girlfriend and she was very pleasant. She even made fun of him when he broke and fell through a chair in my backyard.
August 6th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
i was testing the chair for durability, and it failed the test.
September 19th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Yeah, noah’s got a point. I even tried to get you (sk) to come on over to mike’s house that one stoned afternoon. Instead, you decided to wait around at my house. I find it ironic that you would feel more comfortable having her meet me than the rest of the guys.
September 19th, 2009 at 10:42 am
By the way sk, show the woman what freedom is all about.
September 20th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
we simply preferred to hang out with pat. can you blame us?
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:34 am
SK, you were not missed at the game, and it was so, so fun. Why arent you taking my calls BTW? Gaybe. I hope your diarrhea was the result of the H1N1 virus.
September 24th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
noah, you can trust that at the next game, i will throw a beanball that will make your head explode, splattering your booze-soaked brains onto the ground.
September 24th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
That’s pretty aggressive SK. Anyone who has played catch with you knows you can’t throw a ball that accurately.
September 24th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
that’s because i’m saving my arm, for when i’m eventually called up to the majors.
September 24th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
you’re right though mairk, my tone was quite aggressive, and i didn’t intend that. maybe it’s just because i live by myself, have no friends, eat pasta with soy sauce for dinner, and do 14 hours of homework a day.
September 28th, 2009 at 8:44 am
lets not forget your jewish heritage
September 28th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
way to make a jewish insult on yom kippur. you’re going to jewish hell.
September 29th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Is jewish hell exactly like regular hell except there´s no lox and everything is unreasonably priced?
September 30th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
no, it’s just like regular hell except we do get lox - because we’ve already suffered enough on earth.