A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words
Friday, September 26th, 2008
Who said we here at WWWF need to have mature rebuttals?
Author Archive
Remember This?
Friday, September 26th, 2008Just when we though this website couldn’t get any better - Alexis circulates old photos of Gabe’s drunken face-smash that cost his family two cars and a summer home. This has nothing to do with anything other than it will create a legion of anti-Gabe commentary, therefore making the group’s collective satisfaction skyrocket.
C for Effort
Sunday, June 15th, 2008
At least SK is sending in material…that’s more than anyone else can say.
—-
Hi Max! Hey buddy! Why didn’t you let me know that you would be coming down here to Australia for a visit? I’m a bit insulted. Well anyway, I’m still glad that I got to see you this past weekend. Even though you were too busy munching down your eucalyptus leaves to notice your old friend, I was there. I even got to pat your back - your fur is so soft! Like a carpet. And the bottom of your foot feels like a dog’s nose. By the way, I’m sorry things didn’t work out with that blonde park ranger - I saw you grasping for her hungrily, but she still gave you the cold shoulder, huh? I guess some things never change, even across continents. Alright, I’m sure you’re tired so I’ll let you go. Eat those leaves, little friend. Bye!
Domestic Life: The Return of SK - Balder and Better
Sunday, May 11th, 2008
Today is Saturday here in Sydney. It’s fall here, but the weather is sunny and pleasant. It’s late afternoon as I write this, which means that most of you are probably shuffling in from whatever dank drinking hole you went out to this Friday night, no doubt alone and unfulfilled. I, however, had already had sexual intercourse by the time you had left work earlier in the evening, when you were still under the happy delusion that you might actually pick up at the bar. You see, I have a girlfriend. In fact, I live with her. Let me tell you a little bit about my life, and how I got to this place.
As some of you may have heard, after leaving Thailand last year I made my way up to the Land of Morning Calm, more commonly known as Korea. It’s a land of history, intrigue, mountain temples and Communist northern enemies. It is also, as I came to realize, home to the most incredible population of fine-legged women in the world. I shit you not. While walking the streets, I frequently found myself grinding my teeth in aggressive lust, unable to comprehend the bounty of crazy sexiness walking past me every five seconds. I cannot overstate this point enough. I redubbed Korea the Land of Crazy Hotness and, along with my two Canadian cohorts, determinedly prowled the streets day and night, soaking in as much as my eyes and loins could handle. Now, if you’re gonna give me one of those "I dunno, Asians just don’t do it for me, you know?" lines, then you, my friend, are the one who does not know. Spend a couple months in Seoul. Your life will change.
The other interesting surprise I found is that Korea is the most degenerately drunken country on the planet. They drink a cheap swill called soju, which is about 40 proof and tastes like warm Karkov. It also costs about a dollar a bottle. Amble out into the streets on any given Tuesday night (or Wednesday, or any day), and you will see men in business suits falling down drunk, puking, and other various states of stupor that would put even Max to shame. If you’ve never seen a man in a nice suit sleeping on the floor of a subway station, it’s quite something.
Amid all this, I taught young schoolchildren each day, reaching heights of impatience that I didn’t know I was capable of reaching. Kids are great, as long as you don’t have to hang out with them for any longer than about 20 minutes. Thankfully, Kellem Teacher has retired from the classroom.
And yes, I did meet a fine young woman, and followed her here to Australia in late February. We live in a shitty little dump of an apartment, which costs almost $700 a month in this city. Each day, I wake up at 5:16 to walk my baby to the train station. I go back, feed the stray cat, sleep till about 7, get up, eat my toast and coffee, take the train to the city where I code documents in a law firm for eight hours and fifteen minutes, then go home, eat dinner, and am in bed by 9. There is no sex on weekdays. I have three button-up shirts that I got from Woolworths for $10 each, two ties, and one pair of pants. I wash my socks in the sink. And, as you can see, I have decided to mitigate my balding by shaving down to a millimeter. I have no male friends here in Sydney. I am a library member. This is my domestic life.
Well, that’s about all.
A Welcome Suprise
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
This came in yesterday from Rory-not-Chainsaw-Class-of-2000:
I’ve got yet another last minute submission for the 2008 Moustache Gallery. One of my roommates and I took part in this glorious celebration of the ’stache and wanted to share the cookie dusters that had been growing here in SoHo with the rest of the world. Of course, this became a little bit more complicated after Dr. Douchebag DDS came up with an unbelievably well done, though completely gay (who took those pictures anyway?), photo spread. No, after seeing these shots of Baker it became clear that we needed to put some more thought into the project. After much deliberation, American Amber Ale and Scotch Whisky the other morning we realized that it was already March 29th and we needed to act quickly lest the month slip away from us. So we set to work putting together our audio-visual tribute to the moustache. You will find the results attached…
Dr. Dreamboat
Wednesday, March 12th, 2008As Moustache March continues, it’s clear from these pictures that our website is making a speedy and deliberate foray into the seamy world of gay porn.
[LIKE DREAMBOAT’S MOUSTACHE?? DON’T FORGET TO VOTE HERE FOR ALL OF YOUR FAV HAIRY LIPS!]
Our newest addition are snapshots women from the Upper Valley–aged pre-teen to couger–have been hopefully salivating over for decades: a muscular, dripping future vacation home owner "sponging off" in the foggy-mirrored master bathroom of his Buck Rd. condominium. There is little doubt that our hits will sky-rocket from the Dartmouth Skiway mom demographic. Even Gabe’s girlfriend was hot and bothered, saying it "looks like something from Erotic Photo Hunt Hunks."
Chris, a Pisces, knew his moustache was a harbinger for future gain when he flipped to the horoscope of today’s Valley News. Here’s what it had to say: "You definitely can do something that improves your appearance or the first impression you create on others. You even might improve your health in some way." Clearly Ms. Clio and the stars above are superfans of Moustache March.
And the parade marches on.
GALLERY 2008! VOTE NOW!
Wednesday, March 12th, 2008
YOU COULD BE NEXT!!!
The 2008 Wish We Weren’t Friends Gallery is officially up and running with solid John’s showing their sexiest stuff! This year, our webmaster has skillfully included a Moustache March poll for fans and participants to vote, as many times as they want, for their favorite ’stache. Click on any of the sexy shots to enter the voting page and see all of the hairy-lipped hunks who have submitted pics so far. Stuff that box, my friends, it’s the only pussy you’ll get all year.
Send your picture to admin@wishwewerentfriends.com and join the party. It truly is the best of all celebrations. Happy Moustache March!
Greetings From Man Camp
Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
Among the comforts and coziness offered here at Man Camp, in Sunrise, AK, not an upper lip is lacking in warmth. The winter has been grueling, battling through the labors of skiing everyday, drinking most nights, and being completely unemployed. Yet through it all, the sub-zero arctic temps were no match for our fuzzy faces. February tested our character and luck, filled with a ten day extreme cold snap, followed by Typhoon Javier (I’m not sure if it had a name but that is what I call it) and ending with the narrow evasion of near disaster as an entire slope barrelled down on us.
Alas, March has arrived, and with it brings a change of scenic delights upon mountain top vistas to the naked and glistening facial structures of certain gents at man camp. Of course, not to name names (begins with a S and ends in an EAN) some men are too cool to be seen with something so official as a well groomed moustache and continue to enslave their jaw-line with a coat of hair. However others are not and with that being said, I am proud to unveil the first of multiple transitions the space in between my noise and mouth will take this long month of March. I am a bit skeptical of the professionalism offered by my first showing, yet for the novelty aspect of being able to say: "my stache is longer than your dick" I couldn’t pass up this style.
Cheers to the north
- Mitchell T. Bacon
The Migrant Worker
Monday, March 3rd, 2008
Beach Volleyball, Anyone?
It feels like the team is really shaping up this year. The pictures are trickling in, and each new smiling face is a delightful surprise. All this "Wetback Special" needs is a mullet to seal the deal.
Senor Sexy Face
Sunday, March 2nd, 2008
Looking gaunt, Big Guy. Stop in Bogota on the way down?
There appears to be a stylistic trend developing, but for all of you still crafting your gallery photo, remember we do accept pictures taken "in-focus." Speaking of trends, this year’s Moustache March theme is "MUSTACHE IN ACTION." Whether it’s skiing, brunching, internet porning, binge drinking, shallowly judging beautiful women on the street, pooping on car windshields in the parking lot at work, or sitting in your parents basement, submit your action photos to Wish We Weren’t Friends to show how your moustache defines you in your favorite social and professional situation.
