SUPER HOMOEROTIC UPDATE: Mairk’s full photoshoot of Saul and Pierre is now available here. Unfortunately there’s no nudity, but I wouldn’t exactly call it "Safe For Work" unless you work with Noah at the GLBT outreach center.

    Well, we are happy to say that our classy little number of a website can now add “Mysterious Twins” to its list of gossip topics – a list formerly limited to such perennial favorites as “Flacidity In All Its Forms,” “Fatness: The New Thin,” “Girls – What’s That Word Again?” and “How To (Not Get Not) Sick From Whiskey.: Yup – you read correctly. The always-ready cameras of our newly-appointed Creative Director, Moustache Mairk, caught Saul’s lackluster twin brother, Pierre, as he ventured onto Hanover turf for the first time since ever.

    A little background on this disburbing revelation: As most of you probably don’t remember, Saul sidled into the hallways of Hanover High School back in 1997, fresh from serving a fifteen-to-life stint in ‘Scoma. Little did anyone know that Saul – eager to take advantage of the enhanced shoplifting that HHS’s proximity to the Co-Op provided – made his move with such haste that he left behind his maladjusted twin, Pierre, whom he cautioned never to venture beyond Route 4 for fear of discovery and subsequent disgrace. Fast-forward more years than we can count, and we have Saul – an apparently upstanding and successful member of the Dartmouth community. Little did he know, as he prepared to leave for his on-campus office last Friday, that much more than his day would be interrupted when a vengeful Pierre roared back into his life on a rusting Kawasaki motorcycle that was older than both of them combined.

    As can be seen, the two environments have had dramatically different effects on the brothers’ lives. We hope you enjoy browsing through the results – whether you prefer your vests made of cheap black leather or fine Merino wool, there should be something for everyone.    

The best Beirut partner of all time and the worst EMT of all time, together again.

        As we return from Summer Vacation, the drunk, all-male material continues to roll in. Our interns are working endlessly to sift through the piles of shit and uncover the truly worthless crap so that the eleven people coming to the site can give their dicks a five minute break between visits to YouPorn. This photo gallery recalls the rare collisions of Hurricanes Mike and Max during a late August fête in honor of Tim’s strength, wealth, and overwhelming gayness.  There were rare, but welcome appearances by Mahler, Draper, Richter, and the token chotch guy from UNH. There was the always unwelcome appearance by Noah, and SK was never missed.
        Interestingly enough it was Professor Saul who proved to be the most destructive: risking the Ainslie Street security deposit with a dented ceiling before exposing himself to the Italian neighbors. His plans of going Kosher after his previous self-destruction in Brooklyn had obviously gone awry.
       I framed the party like this during a post party review with a girl who had been overwhelmed by her first true experience with the Upper Valley Dirtbags: "Luckily that wasn’t a naked party because my friends would have been the ones standing in a circle with the fat, hairy stomachs and severely shrunken dicks, grinding their teeth and wondering why no girls were talking to them."

BIG THANKS TO D-SUTS: For letting me use his piece camera and then sending me all the photos. His disposable videos are next on the schedule!

Rip Road Rippers and their money lender out on the town.

AUGUST PARTY PHOTO GALLERY

Are those the famous paws we see?

You know it’s a good Saturday morning when you wake up butt naked in Tim’s bed, the last text in your sent items folder is “the thought of you coming makes me go nuts” and you’re selecting gems from Mairk’s homoerotic photoshoot staged at the Brook Hollow recycling area.
 
YUP! That’s a good Saturday! And, to top it all off, your alcoholic friends have united against your arch nemesis in his quest to be the biggest LaRouche in the Upper Valley by completely separating himself from a website HE founded and erasing it from his past like the land monster from Tim’s chemistry class. Next thing you know he’ll be go on a diet, start wearing sport coats, and teach at Dartmouth.

Well in celebration of this wonderful day, and the renewed calls for activity on our world-renowned website, we give you “Saul: A Poolside Photoshoot. With Appearances By Alex”

Saul specifically asked me to not put these pictures up on the site, but now that he refuses to talk to me until counseling, has been banned from my apartment by my female roommate and has no idea how to make changes to the site (even after being instructed on numerous occasions), there’s nothing he can do short of filing a lawsuit or committing a felony - both of which are well within the realm of possibility.

Enjoy, and hide your boners!

Saul Summer Photo Gallery