This came in yesterday from Rory-not-Chainsaw-Class-of-2000:

I’ve got yet another last minute submission for the 2008 Moustache Gallery.  One of my roommates and I took part in this glorious celebration of the ’stache and wanted to share the cookie dusters that had been growing here in SoHo with the rest of the world.  Of course, this became a little bit more complicated after Dr. Douchebag DDS came up with an unbelievably well done, though completely gay (who took those pictures anyway?), photo spread.  No, after seeing these shots of Baker it became clear that we needed to put some more thought into the project.  After much deliberation, American Amber Ale and Scotch Whisky the other morning we realized that it was already March 29th and we needed to act quickly lest the month slip away from us.  So we set to work putting together our audio-visual tribute to the moustache.  You will find the results attached…

As Moustache March continues, it’s clear from these pictures that our website is making a speedy and deliberate foray into the seamy world of gay porn.

Our newest addition are snapshots women from the Upper Valley–aged pre-teen to couger–have been hopefully salivating over for decades: a muscular, dripping future vacation home owner "sponging off" in the foggy-mirrored master bathroom of his Buck Rd. condominium.  There is little doubt that our hits will sky-rocket from the Dartmouth Skiway mom demographic.  Even Gabe’s girlfriend was hot and bothered, saying it "looks like something from Erotic Photo Hunt Hunks."

Chris, a Pisces, knew his moustache was a harbinger for future gain when he flipped to the horoscope of today’s Valley News. Here’s what it had to say: "You definitely can do something that improves your appearance or the first impression you create on others. You even might improve your health in some way." Clearly Ms. Clio and the stars above are superfans of Moustache March.

And the parade marches on.

SUPER HOMOEROTIC UPDATE: Mairk’s full photoshoot of Saul and Pierre is now available here. Unfortunately there’s no nudity, but I wouldn’t exactly call it "Safe For Work" unless you work with Noah at the GLBT outreach center.

    Well, we are happy to say that our classy little number of a website can now add “Mysterious Twins” to its list of gossip topics – a list formerly limited to such perennial favorites as “Flacidity In All Its Forms,” “Fatness: The New Thin,” “Girls – What’s That Word Again?” and “How To (Not Get Not) Sick From Whiskey.: Yup – you read correctly. The always-ready cameras of our newly-appointed Creative Director, Moustache Mairk, caught Saul’s lackluster twin brother, Pierre, as he ventured onto Hanover turf for the first time since ever.

    A little background on this disburbing revelation: As most of you probably don’t remember, Saul sidled into the hallways of Hanover High School back in 1997, fresh from serving a fifteen-to-life stint in ‘Scoma. Little did anyone know that Saul – eager to take advantage of the enhanced shoplifting that HHS’s proximity to the Co-Op provided – made his move with such haste that he left behind his maladjusted twin, Pierre, whom he cautioned never to venture beyond Route 4 for fear of discovery and subsequent disgrace. Fast-forward more years than we can count, and we have Saul – an apparently upstanding and successful member of the Dartmouth community. Little did he know, as he prepared to leave for his on-campus office last Friday, that much more than his day would be interrupted when a vengeful Pierre roared back into his life on a rusting Kawasaki motorcycle that was older than both of them combined.

    As can be seen, the two environments have had dramatically different effects on the brothers’ lives. We hope you enjoy browsing through the results – whether you prefer your vests made of cheap black leather or fine Merino wool, there should be something for everyone.    

   

     Among the comforts and coziness offered here at Man Camp, in Sunrise, AK, not an upper lip is lacking in warmth.  The winter has been grueling, battling through the labors of skiing everyday, drinking most nights, and being completely unemployed.  Yet through it all, the sub-zero arctic temps were no match for our fuzzy faces.  February tested our character and luck, filled with a ten day extreme cold snap, followed by Typhoon Javier (I’m not sure if it had a name but that is what I call it) and ending with the narrow evasion of near disaster as an entire slope barrelled down on us.

    Alas, March has arrived, and with it brings a change of scenic delights upon mountain top vistas to the naked and glistening  facial structures of certain gents at man camp.  Of course, not to name names (begins with a S and ends in an EAN) some men are too cool to be seen with something so official as a well groomed moustache and continue to enslave their jaw-line with a coat of hair. However others are not and with that being said, I am proud to unveil the first of multiple transitions the space in between my noise and mouth will take this long month of March.  I am a bit skeptical of the professionalism offered by my first showing, yet for the novelty aspect of being able to say: "my stache is longer than your dick" I couldn’t pass up this style.

Cheers to the north

- Mitchell T. Bacon

Beach Volleyball, Anyone?

     It feels like the team is really shaping up this year. The pictures are trickling in, and each new smiling face is a delightful surprise. All this "Wetback Special" needs is a mullet to seal the deal.

      I called Mairk yesterday morning on the family landline to see how the Etna Mustache March Opening Cermonies were progressing. He put me on speakerphone as he hacked off his wispy man growth with a swiss army knife in the bathroom - he seemed hopeful and excited. The Mairkstache - as he so poetically named it - had a lot to live up to. After all, Mairk’s dad got married in jeans and a  ’stache, making the hairlip a family institution.

Mairk is holding it up well. The picture feels a little "out of focus" but I think it’s just the "mustache magic" in the air.

And Moustache March has begun!